"There have been times I’ve went in to the bookies and I’ve had 30 pound and I’ve won money and I’ve been quite comfortable with that and I’ve like walked away.
But theres been times my son has been hittin us for money, and I’ve given him money and I’m neglectin my own bills, theres nae food in and I’m like that - I’m sittin with a score here, wit am i gonnae dae with it? And just goin in and putin money in machines you might get ten pound out and your like, that awrite thats an extra tenner but its still nothing- so I stick it back in again and then you’re just revolvin in that cycle.
The more you go in to the bookies, your gettin that high cause you’re like right well I’ve got a tenner here, whats a tenner? I’ll put another tenner in, you win something else back and it's just compulsive. It's no just aboot survival you know? You’ve got the next week to go through but then when I went in and I've had a score, I've had twenty pounds, I’ve put that in maybe won a tenner. Put that back in maybe won another score and instead of just taking that and walking away I've been like another wee bet, another wee bet, another wee bet. Cause you're gettin the buzz from it as well. You feel good aboot it. And, you stick it in and you just feel totally mugged off. And then your back up the road and maybe you started off with the twenty pounds but now you've got nothing.
I never told anyone in homeless services about my gamblin. Mothers are the caregivers. Your mum’s supposed to run everything. Your dad goes oot and works, or the male goes out and works. I think, it's the shame that you don’t have money to buy nice food or buy nice hings for the weans cause you should be able to cope, you should be able to put money away, make sure your kids got what they need for school or that there gettin a good dinner in them kinda thing."