"My dad won money off the Grand National years ago so he bought our family home. 70 grand he won and that was 20 odd year ago. Gambling was just his habit, you know? And my mum was happy that he bought the house obviously. He was heavy, heavy into the booze as well. He was an alcoholic. He was a violent man when he didn’t get his own way you know? 70 grand, it's a lot of money.

My mum is happy that I gamble instead of using drugs. I feel bad for what I put her through when I was younger, I was a bad girl. I used to take her money off her, I knocked her bank card just to feed my habit. Drinking and gambling. I've changed now. Learned from my mistakes.

Whenever I go to visit her now, she always says the same thing to me - did you win? Did you win? And I'm like sitting scratching cards in front of her. She gets all excited and all that - bless her. How much did you win? Aw, a pound, a pound again. Then she’ll give me money and I’ll buy scratchcards on the way home.

I get up every morning and I'm like what will I do today? And I come downstairs and I go, I’ve got nothing to do. Boredom. Just sheer boredom. And I'm like oh I’ve got a pound ill go and get a scratch card - same if I’ve got a fiver or a tenner. I have scratch cards at the moment that still need to be scratched. I’ll leave them unscratched for a couple of days and choose when I want to scratch them. I'm not the only one that gambles in here. I'm not the only one wasting money or winning or losing or whatever. But they all hide it. I just sit here and I’m like pffft - scratch, scratch, scratch.

I think that gambling is anonymous you know? It's hard to give up habits and things that you like doing. It's hard to set a limit cause every time I set a limit I just go overboard. Especially if I’ve got a wee drink in me. I'll stagger back to my room and I’ll laugh and joke or whatever but deep down I’m really hurting, to be honest with you. But it's fine you know? Cause tomorrow is a new day and it’s about time I stopped gambling and wasting my money on drink."